The Almost Daily Thread

musings from the blue chair

Forgiveness is letting go

on August 2, 2014

Forgiveness – a post I promised Leigh for her latest blog activity. Yes, I took on yet another task – and I forgive myself for that! And I have enjoyed it. Thank you, Leigh. http://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/a-round-of-forgiveness/
Forgiveness is “it”. The apex. The secret, the mystery to personal freedom. The Heart of the Matter. The back hoe of uncovering the truth of who we really are.
Forgiveness is taking responsibility for oneself. Seeing the God-seed in all others, allowing them to be who they are in their personal choices.
Embracing the oneness and the humanness of all created, for me, a playing field of possibility. Supported by taking the stance of an observer with my Libra mind set, I am quite capable of assigning various points-of-view to others and to many situations. From here I can more clearly see and allow detachment and create new/different attachments. Giving these options to others I more clearly understand that people reach choice because of their previous occurrences. So. . . I did this because of this or that. S/he chose this as a result of . . . We follow our story lines.
Without attachment to the story line and sending the energy of truth, peace and love to every person, place and thing involved, I feel, blankets an event. Often I send my prayer energy to all those involved in wars and that compassion and tolerance surround all concerned. I try and not separate good guys from bad guys who am I to say? Because we all are people walking on the earth at the same time with varying backgrounds and beliefs. So I attempt to suspend my judgments. I include in my prayers the earth who is being bombarded and punctured with explosives and absorbing the blood of her inhabitants. I now will add forgiveness because if past wounds are not addressed, not attended to, they fester and create infection to current events. I admit I am not always successful in suspending my personal judgments to war and violence.
Forgiveness of others, especially strangers, can be a walk on the beach next to self-forgiveness. Particularly big situations like addictions or self-sabotage, or choices that cause pain. But even forgiveness for the negative thoughts that hop through our mind chatter. Thoughts of doom and gloom. Thoughts of revenge, anger, victimization. Thoughts of lack and blame. I am noticing these thoughts more readily as they bubble up from some deeply buried angry place like oil from the sunken ships at Pearl Harbor.
I am a pretty easy going kinda girl. I am very capable of allowing others their choices and not being “too” critical. Yet, I do have opinions and will often state them, however, I don’t feel I pressure feed my opinion – well accept for maybe the constant anti-GMO postings I put on Facebook!
I admit that I do not understand people’s choices sometimes.
I do not understand corporate or personal greed at the expense of others less fortunate or the environment.
I do not understand greed.
I do not understand mean.
I do not understand, “my God is better than yours.”
I do not understand intolerance. In fact, I have a very low level of tolerance for those who are intolerant! (Hummm.)
I do understand less than, self-sabotage, a sense of abandonment, low self-esteem and victimization. And I do understand that forgiveness of a situation requires me to release others I hold accountable along with myself for attaching to a given situation. Un-accepting a role unfitting of my true self has been the process that opened me to rising above and of allowing others their process. Like forgiving my parents for dying and leaving three orphaned children. When I release them, I am free to witness the lovely, safe, loving childhood they provided for us. A firm foundation. AND, searching for answers is what placed me squarely on my spiritual journey.
Currently my biggest forgiveness issues are:
To repeat: I forgive my parents for dying so young and the crippling, numbing pain surrounding each scenario. Following their deaths – 5 years apart – I stumbled through all the grief stages, including anger at them, anger at God, anger at the world continuing to exist without them in it. And yet through the years and all the self-exploration my abandonment issue has been replaced by a more self-reliant, confident me. As I forgive them for dying I developed a sense of independence. I learned that food and lifestyle choices directly affect the physical body. I learned that family, being a sister, a parent and grandparent, is enormously important for me.
A forgiveness issue I now am work with is my thought process. I want to think more positive, clear, loving thoughts and find solutions while accepting that I don’t have to like everything I witness in the world or see within myself. On that personal note, which is the only place I can effect change, I am not going to get everything checked off my to do list today,
I forgive myself for not getting radishes and kale and carrots planted before leaving for Cincinnati.
I forgive myself for not having Dave’s birthday present wrapped better, for sitting in my chair with the last bit of coffee instead of jumping up to run the sweeper before I leave.
I forgive myself for not flowing more, for not taking the picture for the cover of A Fairy Move so it can get published on Kindle.
I forgive myself for not loving the 20 lbs I do not ever lose, for wearing a shirt with a spot on it.
I am not perfect. And who set up the perimeters for my self-imposed definition perfect anyhow? How did that model of perfection get into my head? And why do I keep it there?
So, maybe, just for today, I could accept myself for who I am in this moment. Work all this forgiveness into a gratitude process and perhaps those clouds of self-doubt will dissipate and I will be a more content version of who I really am.
And so when I forgive, I release attachments to the self judgment and I am simply being the best me I’ve got to give in this moment.
With that, I willingly share my thoughts on forgiveness without attachment as to how you the reader receive it’s contents. After all, it truly is none of my business what you think or do. Although, I would like for my story to create something of value for you and your choices. I know I cannot choose for you.
I give you permission to also release attachments to self judgments and simply be the be the best you you have got to give in this moment.
Let’s see if we can do it all day.
And sing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xezg3z5IE8I

Advertisements

7 responses to “Forgiveness is letting go

  1. yogaleigh says:

    That’s lovely. Thanks so much for taking part!

  2. yogaleigh says:

    Reblogged this on Not Just Sassy on the Inside and commented:
    Check out Susan’s lovely post for my forgiveness series. Dates are still open so contact me if you’d like to write one.

  3. I am intolerant of intolerance. lol
    Great post!

  4. […] her a happy birthday wish! If you haven’t read them yet, the first posts were from Susan at the Almost Daily Thread and Sindy at Blue Butterflies and Me.  I’m still looking for people to write posts about […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: